For Your Health

For Your Health

So I’m thinking about completely glazing over the fact that I haven’t written a post since the birth of Methuselah and just making various lists of all the things that I’ve been up to for the past 4 months that will (ideally) include hilarious links, witty, biting remarks, and strategically placed images culled from the cavernous pit of treasure known as CYBERSPACE. I gravitate towards this method of recap only to save you, gentle reader, from long and arduous excuses about my tardiness. Here goes:

Things I Did On My Very First Punk-Rock Tour

  • Attempted to sleep in a U-Haul Trailer (AKA Commercial Freezer on Wheels)
  • Became desensitized to sitting in the fog rising off 4-6 unwashed male bodies at any given time
  • Ate Vancouver’s most delicious fish and chips and ran away from 500 seagulls eating the remains of Paul’s fries
  • Saw many old man wangs at Wreck Beach; went swimming in my dress which disturbed Radam (which I felt was rather hypocritical of him, as one so accustomed to public partial nudity…)
  • Sang Morrissey karaoke before performing at the hottest venue in East Hastings
  • Made it across the U.S. border without wetting myself in fear and desperation
  • Hung out in a Frank Gehry building that housed Sci-Fi memorabilia alongside a two-storey pillar of guitars
  • Snuck underaged fellows into The Funhouse
  • Lost my mind in Powell’s City of Books
  • Met two awesome Portlanders
  • Drove all night (to get to you)
  • Rocked out to these guys every night

Some Books I’ve Been Reading

  • The Autobiography of F.B.I. Special Agent Dale Cooper: My Life, My Tapes by Scott Frost and The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer by Mark Frost and Jennifer Lynch (both of which freaked my shit and troubled my sleep)
  • Slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut (late to the party on this one, but better late than never)
  • City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau (kid-lit)
  • World War Z by Max Brooks
  • Neil Young Nation by Kevin Chong (unfortunately, this one gets a soild “meh”)

Random Things That Have Been Occupying My Thoughts

  • Flying to Ottawa to egg 24 Sussex Drive
  • Going to sleep to dream of happiness and light, and not waking until November 5, 2008, when it will be clear whether or not we have entered the End of Days

And now, as is customary, a vow to post more, in haiku form:

my fingers will fly

across the keys like lightning

a promise to keep